we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
