I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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