Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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