you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
