oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
