I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize