Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
