she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
