In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
