i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
