he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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