she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
