if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
