So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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