are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Let's get the cat blown out
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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