Who wears a wallet chain?!
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
