The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize