it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
