Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
vagina is talking i cant
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
