I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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