tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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