and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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