my soul wont recognize me after tonight
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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