dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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