OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
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I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
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I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize