bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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