ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
