Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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