I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
