actually, I'm a sock model
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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