whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
