listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
