It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
