Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
organizing the empties. That sober.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
