An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
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She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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