Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
