Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
