i just sent this text using only my big toe
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
