Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
