I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
