Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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