I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
