i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
