Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
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