I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Randomize
