32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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