Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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