Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
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I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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