and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
