Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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