Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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