need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize