he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
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