dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
