I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
