I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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