I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
