Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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