The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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