I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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