sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
