it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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