Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
