I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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