I wish I could teleport
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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