you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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