Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
