and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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